Day 5
19th December 2025
By now, the cold and I were no longer strangers.
The 4:00am gong arrived like clockwork and the familiar 30-minute rush to assemble in the Dhamma Hall had become routine. There were mornings I managed a shower… and mornings I very clearly did not. 😅 Some days, the body simply said, “No, not today.”
Those mornings looked like this: brush teeth using icy cold running water, splash my face until fully awake, step into the shower… pause… listen to my body… and decide; clean wipe it is! Dressed swiftly (I always planned my clothes the night before), then the second gong would sound. Panic mode activated.
That morning, in my clumsiness, I forgot a few important things:
my water bottle,
my little pouch containing mom’s handkerchief
and also Michelle’s gift, a Young Living essential oil called Hope.
That oil usually kept me alert during meditation.
Two full hours without them.
Surprisingly, I managed.
As usual, I drifted in and out of sleep, only to be jolted awake by my own body leaning sideways, like a sudden internal jump-start. Every time it happened, I smiled inwardly. The body was clearly determined not to let me fall.
When fully awake, my mind began to wander, not outward but observationally. I found myself scanning the hall. Watching others. Watching the teachers.
And here’s the thing…
Teachers doze off too! 😂
In a hall so silent you could hear a pin drop, there were occasional coughs, throat-clearing sounds (we weren’t allowed to bring water bottles into the hall), gentle shifts of bodies and yes… snores. A teacher who literally was very observant would give ‘marching order’ to a Dhamma Server to check on the snores and to alert the student(s) to wake up and sit straight.
At one point, I noticed a teacher with his head fully down. Moments later, I heard a soft murmur, another teacher quietly alerting a Dhamma server that it was time to wake him. The two hours had passed.😂🤣
And in that moment, something softened inside me.
They’re human too.
These teachers who were all elders, were waking up at 4:00am, sitting through two full hours of meditation with us, holding space, guiding silently. That alone deserved respect. I felt a deep sense of gratitude and admiration for them.
After breakfast, there was a brief rest in my tiny cubicle before the next gong. The day flowed on.
One of my favourite moments came after lunch, when the afternoon sun finally appeared. Many of us instinctively gravitated outdoors, soaking up warmth however we could.
Some lay flat on the grass, fully clothed.
Some stood facing the sun, palms together in prayer.
Some used the sun like a hairdryer, warming cold limbs.
Others paced briskly up and down.
And me?
I people-watched.
Quietly. Lovingly.
Observing humanity seeking warmth, comfort and relief; each in their own way.
The evening ended with the Dhamma discourse. Once again, Goenka felt like a mind-reader. There were moments where a small smile crept onto my face… and once, even a quiet laugh escaped me. I heard my own voice and smiled at myself.
That night, I went to bed with a slightly bloated tummy, a tired body and a mind that felt… lighter.
No drama.
No resistance.
Just observation.
Day 5 wasn’t about breakthroughs.
It was about noticing,
how the body protects itself,
how the mind wanders,
how everyone, including teachers, is beautifully human.
And somehow, that felt like progress.
